Wedding Speeches

the good, the bad, and the ugly

Toasts at weddings have been some of my favorite moments to witness, and also some of the most cringe-worthy. If you’re contemplating who should give a speech (and how), here’s a few tips to help set yourself up for a hilarious or touching moment, instead of an awkward one.

Give your friends and family plenty of notice. This might seem obvious, but don’t wait until the month of your wedding to figure out who’s giving a toast. Give folks a heads up so they have time to thoughtfully craft what they want to say.
Set expectations with the ask. Figure out how long you’d like toasts at the reception to last (our vote is a max of 30 minutes), then divide by the number of people you want to speak. Provide your loved one with a suggested length so they know how much content to prepare.
Vary your speakers. It’s great to have a mixed bag of funny, touching, story telling, and waxing poetic. Pick someone from your “past” (like your cousin) who shares a long history with you, and someone from your “present” (your dear friend or coworker) who sees you often. Balance someone who’s likely to crack jokes with a more sentimental person.
Choose wisely. It’s worth considering a few factors when choosing who will give toasts (besides who knows you two the best, or who you’re closest with). Who might be a little too drunk by that time of night? Who’s a bit more comfortable in front of an audience? Who can you honor by asking them to speak, in lieu of a different role like bridesmaid or groomsmen?
Don’t open mic. … If there’s someone you really don’t want to speak. If you have an open mic for guests to share a few words, consider bookends. 1 person prepped in the crowd to kick off the open mic to avoid the awkward glancing of “who’s going first?” and then be ready as a couple to thank your guests as a way to end the speeches when you’re ready.
Have a plan for introductions. Typically your DJ or MC will announce the beginning of toasts and can introduce the first speaker. From there, if the speakers don’t know each other well, have the DJ/MC introduce each speaker so no one has to remember the order. If it’s a smaller group who are all familiar with each other, or you have less people speaking, just have each speaker pass the mic to the next person.